Whether you are a swinging couple or polyamorous couple; perhaps you are just a free and liberated individual who loves to experience the lifestyle of an \”open\” relationship; we are certain you have come across people in your life who just do not understand the Swinging Lifestyle or judge you for what makes you happy. Everyone is filled with questions and so there are generally 7 things swingers are sick of hearing when it comes to the wider community who does not understand our world whether that is family or friends.
We all have vanilla friends (if you do not know what the term vanilla means check out 105 terms you should know) who want to ask questions because naturally people are curious and anything different is going to spark their interest especially if it is unfamiliar to them. BUT – sometimes how people ask these questions can be a little offensive, so we have covered off the 7 Things Swingers are Sick of Hearing below, so you know…that we know!
Being asked questions by your vanilla friends isn\’t necessarily a bad thing, people are curious by nature and things unfamiliar to them are often a source of interest. But it\’s often the way these questions are asked, and what\’s hidden behind them that can be frustrating, and often a little offensive.
So here are 7 things swingers are sick of hearing and being asked:
1. Please Don\’t Steal My Husband/Wife!
People are not easy to steal for a starters.
There is always that one person (or couple) that is outside the swinger community that assumes just because you are a Swinger you are going to steal their husband or wife; like they are some piece of furniture or pet you can easily replace without anyone noticing.
People in Open Relationships believe in trust, openness, honesty and full transparency. It always confuses us why people who are in closed relationships make the sweeping assumption that because we are swingers we don\’t have respect for our partner. If we were out there stealing other partners that would break the rules and boundaries we set within our open relationship and it simply violates everything that the Swinging Community stands for.
2. Do You Ever Worry About Diseases Or Infections?
This question is very common. People in closed relationships make the same assumption that most people make about sex workers, that they are diseased or infected because they have sex with more than just the one partner – failing to realise that the nature of an Open relationship requires very careful health and safety regimes and promises between each partner. Swinging couples who play are very very conscious of their health and always practice safe sex.
3. That is Disgusting, I would never let my partner do that!
Judgement – don\’t let this comment get you down, unless you friend is interested in trying before they judge you next time – then go for gold! This is such an overarching statement and overreaction that Swinging Couples \”let\” their partners do anything they want, yet we know in the Swinging Community that communication is crucial to a happy relationship.
In short, if you are not in an Open Relationship then don\’t have one. It is not that hard to understand if you would not let your partner do it then don\’t let them do it. Open Relationships are more freeing and you should not have to do what everyone else is doing in their relationships if your lifestyle makes you happier – do what makes you and your partner happy.
4. Why Don\’t You Get Jealous Don\’t You Think You Partner Will Leave You?
We touched on this key point earlier, Communication is vital to an Open Relationship.
Every conversation and experience is discussed with each person in a relationship to make sure everyone is comfortable and fully onboard before exploring sexually with other people or other couples. As Swingers we all understand that if there are any concerns at any time we can talk about this with our partner or partners openly and honestly so we can solve these concerns and move on being happy and sexually liberated.
Boundaries are always important so remembering that every Couple has different rules. For example, you may accept that your partner admires a sexy person across the room but you would not necessarily let them kiss that person, whereas another person has a problem with their partner even looking.
Jealousy is unique to every relationship but communication is what settles down this green-eyed-monster.
5. WTF! Do You Tell Your Children?
Probably the most offensive question ever asked.
Do people really think that we would take our children to an Orgy or a Sex Party that we host at SwingSocial? This not only disgusts us but we are sure it would horrify any parent out there in the Swinging Community that also believes that what we do as adults does not concern our children.
We tend to reply with the following questions: Did you let your children watch while you two had sex in the shower? Did you let your children watch porn on the television? So what makes you think people who have sex with more than one person would be any different?
Sure, we may have to change a few more sheets then you – but that does not mean we let the kids do it.
6. Kinky… You Must Be Sexual Deviants?
What do you define as Kinky? What do you define as Deviant?
We do not believe that when you experience the Open Relationship lifestyle and sex with other people that you are considered a deviant or kinky, unless perhaps you are engaging in what would be considered taboo or kinky – but who are we to judge what brings you pleasure and excitement?
You will always come across monogamous couples who engage in super kinky sex but don\’t talk about it and so it does surprise us when we are asked you must be kinky or referred to as deviants simply because we are in Open Relationships that all of sudden that excludes us from being \”Vanilla\” by default.
There\’s always going to be someone kinkier and someone more vanilla than you.
7. I Just Don\’t Feel Comfortable Being Around You Anymore…
These comments always tend to fly around when heterosexuals find out that their friends are homosexuals. At SwingSocial we encourage all sexuality, all genders and all ethnicity because we believe in inclusion and acceptance.
Monogamous couples tend to assume that Swingers, Poly Couples and Couples in Open Relationships screw like rabbits and will mount anything with a pulse. But the truth us we do not sleep with every person we meet the same goes for every homosexual person not finding another homosexual attractive or their heterosexual friends attractive and mountable.
We always tend to think to ourselves… what makes you think you are so special? Why would I be attracted to you?
People tend to have very outrageous egos when it comes to judging the Swinger Community. If you friends are judging you because you are in the Swinging Community but accepted you before you mentioned this to them or went public about your sexual lifestyle; then perhaps they were never your friends to begin with.
In closing, now you know 7 Things Swingers Are Sick Of Hearing! So, if you happen to be a monogamous person, and you find out a friend is not, it\’s cool to be curious, and please we encourage you to ask questions. But always remember to be considerate and not offensive because you may just lose that long-term friend of yours.